a tweet,
a status update,
a pop into my chat list,
a random packet of network data.
we've timed out,
the page doesn't load,
we've hit the 404-
unsure if we should refresh the page.
----------
Did I scare you?
Wasn't I honest?
Didn't I cut open a vein?
Let you watch me bleed,
Watch me squirm,
Didn't you see me at my most vulnerable?
Or did you not notice?
The thinly veiled wall,
The well-placed curtain,
The open nature, cleverly hidden,
Plainly seen, but overlooked.
----------
I'm not sorry for how I live my life, how I embrace passion and emotion, or how I ignore it and wall myself off. I'm only sorry for those caught as I transition, those pushed by my extremes, the ones whose faces I see behind a wall of tears and wonder where it went wrong. Those friends that chose a separate path, those with whom I only share tense moments, the deer caught in the headlights. The fear consuming, the inability to act, the inability to speak.
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