I've Been Missing.

your face in a photo,
a memory in time, a moment,
passed. missing from the future,
we've drifted, time is cruel,
parted.

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the emotion still fresh,
the time still passed,
the memory now fading,
the date still passed,
the moment, now, so new.

October 7: A Situation.

It started,
innocent enough,
It expanded,
quietly enough,
It immersed,
completely enough.

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A situation,
A moment,
A circumstance.
An emotion,
A feeling,
A happiness.

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Control is limited,
Acceptance is controlled,
Happiness is accepted,
The moment is happy.

July 13: It's Time.

What if it's me?
What if it's you?
What if it's us?
What if it's time?
What if it isn't?

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The shot across the bow,
A dose of reality,
A hint of honesty.
The scent of fear,
A whiff of desperation,
An air of elusiveness.

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This time it was you, last time was it me? Next time, is it us? What if it isn't any of that, but just an alternate reality? One without an us, one where our paths didn't cross, where that contact wasn't made. What if it was better this way, with this chasm of silence, with the leap apart?
It might platonic, but it's still adrift amid an angry sea. Is this what we need, is this what is best? Or is the inevitable crash onto shore one that involves separate islands?

June 15: Our Little Secret.

It isn't mine,
It isn't yours,
It isn't ours,
It's theirs,
It's there,
Out in the open.

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Not just you,
Not just him,
Not just us,
But just him,
But just you,
But just us,
Together.

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Is life passing me by? Have I chosen the wrong exit? These streets, while foreign, haven't seemed uninviting. I feel safe, but what lies around the next turn?
I'm content, but am I happy? I've found solace, but is it mine, or am I borrowing it? Am I refusing to admit I'm lost, or am I subconsciously following the correct path? I am plagued by these questions, yet confidently driving on. Indeed, I've driven all night, just to get to *here*, to be somewhere I feel I belong. While not conventional, while not explainable, while it may be our little secret, I'll cherish these moments. Even if I turn around tomorrow, seek out a different oasis along this highway, I know that my path, while foreign, has been a welcome exit.

May 25: Tired and Raw.

I said no,
I turned away,
I closed the door,
Left the key behind.
I was tired,
I was selfish,
I needed my space,
Stopped by a locked door.

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A cup of coffee,
Another page written,
A dab of hair gel,
Another day molded,
A stab in the dark,
Another chance wounded.

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It isn't one, it isn't two, it isn't me, it isn't you.

May 12: What If.

what if I said,
I love you,
I miss you,
I need you.
what if I said,
it isn't right,
it isn't time,
it isn't you.
what if it was me?

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closed, isn't open,
opportunity, isn't advantage,
mutuality, isn't plurality.
dimensions, unregulated,
opportunities, unknown.

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life is mine,
this moment now,
my circle defined,
the actors cast,
the curtain rises,
the audience, invited.

May 2: Challenges.

the predictable swoon,
the unknown dance,
the chance at something,
the opportunity that's new,
the feelings so old.

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one, two, three, four,
dimensions unexplored,
definitions unknown,
boundaries undefined.
a couple, or two,
a loose definition,
a boundary blurred.

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Love is meant to be challenged. It isn't tangible, it isn't valued until it's challenged. Sure one can analyze, one can question, but only a true challenge can yield answers. Only by not just accepting but by letting another in, letting another have that chance, is love found. From friends to lovers to partners, the truth remains.
A challenge must exist, or love remains blind.